Life Matters
A little reflection of our living and ourselves
Enjoy the collection of stories and words of wisdom. Ackowledgements to friends who have sent junk mail and such pieces stand out from time to time!
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Myth 4: The right work-life balance will solve all problems?? (taken from a white paper on workplace myths) To ensure that their employees will have a good work-life balance, global car manufacturer Volkswagen decided that emails can only be forwarded to company BlackBerries during a shift and for 30 minutes at either end. Only senior managers are excluded from this regulation. Most psychologists likely tell you that such measures don’t work. You cannot just separate life and work, as this separation would devalue work. It would mean that work is merely an activity to earn money and not to make you happy. This may apply to working on an assembly line, but for most knowledge workers, work is an important part of life. Thoughts cannot be turned on and off depending on the time of the day. Instead of constantly talking about work-life balance, it’s key to maintain an inner balance and listen to the body’s signals. That includes enjoying work and the right balance of focused activity and spare time. 5 Minute Management Course Lesson 1 : A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg... The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest apologised 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.' Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.' Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity. Lesson 2 : A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.' 'Me first! Me first!' says the admin. clerk..… 'I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.' Poof! She's gone. 'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas, and the love of my life.' Poof! He's gone. 'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.' Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say. Lesson 3 An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?' The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.' So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up. Lesson 4 A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.' 'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. It's full of nutrients.' The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree. Moral of the story: Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there... Lesson 5 A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realise how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him. Moral of the story: (1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy. (2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend. (3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut! THUS ENDS THE 5-MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE. These are possibly the 5 best sentences you'll ever read: 1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. 2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. 3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. 4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it! 5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation. There is a number 6 and it came from Maggie Thatcher: * Socialism fails when it runs out of other people’s money! Layman's guide to what went wrong in the USA and Europe: Helga is the proprietor of a bar. She realizes that virtually all of her customers are unemployed alcoholics and - as such - can no longer afford to patronize her bar. To solve this problem, she comes up with a new marketing plan that allows her customers to drink now but pay later. Helga keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers loans). Word gets around about Helga's "drink now, pay later" marketing strategy and as a result, increasing numbers of customers flood into Helga's bar. Soon she has the largest sales volume for any bar in town. By providing her customers freedom from immediate payment demands, Helga gets no resistance when, at regular intervals, she substantially increases her prices for wine and beer, the most consumed beverages. Consequently, Helga's gross sales volume increases massively. A young and dynamic vice-president at the local bank recognizes that these customer debts constitute valuable future assets and increases Helga's borrowing limit. He sees no reason for any undue concern, since he has the debts of the unemployed alcoholics as collateral. At the bank's corporate headquarters, expert traders figure a way to make huge commissions and transform these customer loans into DRINKBONDS. These 'securities' are then bundled and traded on international securities markets. Naive investors don't really understand that the securities being sold to them as 'AA' 'Secured Bonds' are really the debts of unemployed alcoholics. Nevertheless, the bond prices continuously climb and the securities soon become the hottest-selling items for some of the nation's leading brokerage houses. One day, even though the bond prices still are climbing, a risk manager at the original local bank decides that the time has come to demand payment on the debts incurred by the drinkers at Helga's bar. He so informs Helga. Helga then demands payment from her alcoholic patrons but being unemployed alcoholics they cannot pay back their drinking debts. Since Helga cannot fulfil her loan obligations she is forced into bankruptcy. The bar closes and Helga's 11 employees lose their jobs. Overnight, DRINKBOND prices drop by 90%. The collapsed bond asset value destroys the bank's liquidity and prevents it from issuing new loans, thus freezing credit and economic activity in the community. The suppliers of Helga's bar had granted her generous payment extensions and had invested their firms' pension funds in the BOND securities. They find they are now faced with having to write off her bad debt and with losing over 90% of the presumed value of the bonds. Her wine supplier also claims bankruptcy, closing the doors on a family business that had endured for three generations, her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor, who immediately closes the local plant and lays off 150 workers. Fortunately though, the bank, the brokerage houses and their respective executives are saved and bailed out by a multibillion dollar, no-strings attached cash infusion from the government. The funds required for this bailout are obtained by new taxes levied on employed, middle-class, non-drinkers who’ve never been in Helga’s bar. Now do you understand? Sadly (for them) bank employees' Bonus cheques will be 'slightly reduced' this Christmas. All together now. "Ah"! Know where you're going in life.... A boat docked in a tiny Greek island. A tourist complimented the local fishermen on the quality of their fish and asked how long it took them to catch. "Not very long." they answered in unison. "Why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?" The fishermen explained that their small catches were sufficient to meet their needs and those of their families. "But what do you do with the rest of your time?" "We sleep late, fish a little, play with our children, and take siestas with our wives. In the afternoons we have a snack at the beach or go into the village to see our friends at the Kafenio, have a few drinks and play tavli. In the evenings we go to a taverna play the bouzouki and sing a few songs, maybe break a plate or two. We have a full life." The tourist interrupted, "I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat." " And after that?" "With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third oneand so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Athens or even London! From there you can direct your huge new enterprise." "How long would that take?" "Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years." replied the tourist. "And after that?" "Afterwards? Well my friend, that's when it gets really interesting, " answered the tourist, laughing. "When your business gets really big, you can start buying and selling stocks and make millions!" "Millions? Really? And after that?" asked the fishermen. " A fter that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends." "With all due respect, that's exactly what we are doing now. So what's the point wasting twenty-five years?" Asked the Greek fishermen? And the moral of this story is: Know where you're going in life.... you may already be there! Embracing Imperfection....A story by a girl. "When I was a little girl, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage, and extremely burned toast in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his toast, smile at my mom, and ask me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember Watching him smear butter and jelly on that toast and eat every bite! When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad For burning the toast. And I'll never forget what he said: 'Baby, I love burned toast.' Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if He really liked his toast burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, 'Debbie, your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides-a little burnt toast never hurt anyone!' You know, life is full of imperfect things.....and imperfect people. I'm not the best housekeeper or cook.' What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each other's faults - and choosing to celebrate each other's differences - is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship. And that's my prayer for you today. That you will learn to take the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of your life and lay them at the feet of GOD. Because in the end, He's the only One who will be able to give you a relationship where burnt toast isn't a deal-breaker! We could extend this to any relationship in fact - as understanding is the base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife or parent-child or friendship!! " "Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket but into your own." See through God's eyes and feel through God's heart And you will appreciate the value of every soul including yourself. What Bill Cosby said.....This is actually word for word what he said to a gathering of students who asked about the bailout in America: 'They're standing on the corner and they can't speak English.' I can't even talk the way these people talk: Why you ain't,? ;Where you is,?; What he drive,?; Where he stay,?; Where he work,?; Who you be...? And I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk. And then I heard the father talk. Everybody knows it's important to speak English except these knuckleheads. You can't be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth. In fact you will never get any kind of job making a decent living. People marched and were hit in the face with rocks to get an Education, and now we've got these knuckleheads walking around. The lower economic people are not holding up their end in this deal. These people are not parenting. They are buying things for kids. $500 sneakers for what??; And they won't spend $200 for Hooked on Phonics. I am talking about these people who cry when their son is standing there in an orange suit. Where were you when he was 2? Where were you when he was 12? Where were you when he was 18 and how come you didn't know that he had a pistol? And where is the father? Or who is his father? People putting their clothes on backward:? Isn't that a sign of something gone wrong? People with their hats on backward, pants down around the crack, isn't that a sign of something??? Isn't it a sign of something when she has her dress all the way up and got all type of needles [piercing] going through her body? What part of Africa did this come from? We are not Africans. Those people are not Africans; they don't know a thing about Africa . I say this all of the time. It would be like white people saying they are European-American. That is totally stupid. I was born here, and so were my parents and grand parents and, very likely my great grandparents. I don't have any connection to Africa, no more than white Americans have to Germany, Scotland, England, Ireland, or the Netherlands?. The same applies to 99 percent of all the black Americans as regards to Africa . So stop, already! ! ! With names like Shaniqua, Taliqua and Mohammed and all of that crap ........ and all of them are in jail. Brown or black versus the Board of Education is no longer the white person's problem. We have got to take the neighborhood back. People used to be ashamed. Today a woman has eight children with eight different 'husbands' -- or men or whatever you call them now. We have millionaire football players who cannot read. We have million-dollar basketball players who can't write two paragraphs. We, as black folks have to do a better job. Someone working at Wal-Mart with seven kids, you are hurting us. We have to start holding each other to a higher standard. We cannot blame the white people any longer.' Dr. William Henry 'Bill' Cosby, Jr., Ed.D. |
Smart wife, Happy husband.....(as related by a friend)
“My wife says that if I can fish then I should go fishing". She said this after we attended a friend's funeral recently and added that, “......this is because I will definitely not be sending your fishing rods to your coffin!”. Very Interesting * Where did “piss poor” come from?Us older people need to learn something new every day... Just to keep the grey matter tuned up. Where did "Piss Poor" come from?Interesting History. They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot. And then once it was full it was taken and sold to the tannery... if you had to do this to survive you were "Piss Poor".But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn't even afford to buy a pot... They "didn't have a pot to piss in" and were the lowest of the low. * The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be.Here are some facts about the 1500's Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, And they still smelled pretty good by June. However, since they were starting to smell,Brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married. Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, Then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water!" * Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath.It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals(mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof.Hence the saying, "It's raining cats and dogs."There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings Could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence. * The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt.Hence the saying, "Dirt poor." The wealthy had slate floors that would get slipperyIn the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on the floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door,It would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way.Hence: a thresh hold. (Getting quite an education, aren't you?) * In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire.Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetablesAnd did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftoversIn the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme: “Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old”.Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. * When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, "bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests And would all sit around and chew the fat. * Those with money had plates made of pewter.Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes,so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous. * Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust. * Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky.The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days.Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial.They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather aroundand eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom; “of holding a wake”. England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave.. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be,“saved by the bell” or was "considered a dead ringer”. The Charles Schulz Philosophy (as shared by a good friend) The following is the philosophy of Charles Schulz, the creator of the 'Peanuts' comic strip. You don't have to actually answer the questions, just ponder them. 1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world. 2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners. 3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America pageant. 4 Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize. 5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress. 6. Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners. How did you do? The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies.. Awards tarnish.. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners. Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one: 1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school. 2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time. 3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile. 4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special. 5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with. Easier? The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money...or the most awards. They simply are the ones who care the most!! Steven Covey's famous 7 habits for successful people...... are nothing more than a free adaptation of very common Hokkien phrase(surprised?) So why pay thousands of dollars to attend talks when your grand-parents, parents, spouses and even the auntie who sweeps the floor can give you the same kind of advice FOC, everyday? Habit No 1: Be Pro-Active Kin Ka Kin Chiew (Fast leg, fast hand) Habit No 2: Sharpen the Saw Toh Bua Lai Lai (Make the knife sharp) Habit No 3: Begin with the End In Mind Ooh Tao Ooh Buay (Have head, have tail) Habit No 4: First Things First Chik Hung Chik Hung Lai - Ban Ban Lai (One thing at a time, slow and steady); or Cho Tow Seng (Do first; talk later) Habit No 5: Think Win-Win Long Chong Ai Yarh (Must win everything) This is definitely not thinking win-win. This is a zero sum game. Win everything! Habit No 6: Seek To Understand Rather Than To Be Understood Cho Lang Ai Eh Beng Pek (You must be understanding) Habit No 7: Synergize Tai Kay Ai Hup Chop (All must cooperate) Some Reflections.......Don't go the way life takes you. Take life the way you go and remember you are born to live and not living because you are born. Some times Prayers doesn't change the situation, but it changes our attitude towards situation, and gives us the hopes which changes our entire Life. Happiness always looks small if you hold it in your hands, but when you learn to share it, you will realize how big and precious it is. Life is 10% what you make it and 90% how you take it. "KeepSmiling...Have a Wonderful Day" "This life is too short even to love... I don't know how people find time to hate." "Love is more easily demonstrated than defined." Anon. You can't change the tides but you can learn to swim (and fish). Before you speak ............. listen. Before your write ............ think. Before you spend ............. earn. Before you criticize ......... wait. Before you pray .............. forgive. Before you quit .............. try. Stages of Life....We have 3 stages of life……….. Teen age: Have Time + Energy …but No Money Working Age: Have Money + Energy …but No Time Old age: Have Time + Money …but no EnergyAnother email for the WEGOFISHING website.... I trust you guys are RIPED FOR TRIPLE ACTION at this point in your lives - ie have (some) time, (some) money and (some) energy to catch that unforgettable fish!!! Good luck Anna Important career/ Life lessons.....Lesson Number One: A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered: “ Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Management Lesson? To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up. Lesson Number Two A turkey was chatting with a bull. “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, “but I haven’t got the energy.” “Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re packed with nutrients.” The Turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted be a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree. Management Lesson? Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there. Lesson Number Three A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him. Management lesson? Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend. And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut! A Stimulus Story..... It is the month of August, on the shores of the Black Sea. It is raining, and the little town looks totally deserted. It is tough times, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit. Suddenly, a rich tourist comes to town. He enters the only hotel, lays a 100 Euro note on the reception counter, and goes to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one.The hotel proprietor takes the 100 Euro note and runs to pay his debt to the butcher. The Butcher takes the 100 Euro note, and runs to pay his debt to the pig farmer. The pig farmer takes the 100 Euro note, and runs to pay his debt to the supplier of his feed and fuel. The supplier of feed and fuel takes the 100 Euro note and runs to pay his debt to the town's prostitute who in these hard times, gave her "services" on credit. The hooker runs to the hotel, and pays off her debt with the 100 Euro note to the hotel proprietor to pay for the rooms that she rented when she brought her clients there.The hotel proprietor then lays the 100 Euro note back on the counter so that the rich tourist will not suspect anything. At that moment, the rich tourist comes down after inspecting the rooms, and takes his 100 Euro note, after saying that he did not like any of the rooms, and leaves town. No one earned anything. However, the whole town is now without debt, and looks to the future with a lot of optimism. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how the United States Government is doing business today. Balance Budget Advice WHAT HAVE WE LEARNED IN 2,064 YEARS? "The budget should be balanced, the Treasury should be refilled, public debt should be reduced, the arrogance of officialdom should be tempered and controlled, and the assistance to foreign lands should be curtailed lest Rome become bankrupt. People must again learn to work, instead of living on public assistance." Cicero, 55 BC Apparently we haven't learned a thing.... What goes around comes around... His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day, while trying to make a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog. There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what could have been a slow and terrifying death. The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's sparse surroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved. 'I want to repay you,' said the nobleman. 'You saved my son's life.' 'No, I can't accept payment for what I did,' the Scottish farmer replied waving off the offer. At that moment, the farmer's own son came to the door of the family hovel. 'Is that your son?' the nobleman asked. 'Yes,' the farmer replied proudly. 'I'll make you a deal. Let me provide him with the level of education my own son will enjoy If the lad is anything like his father, he'll no doubt grow to be a man we both will be proud of.' And that he did. Farmer Fleming's son attended the very best schools and in time, graduated from St. Mary's Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin. Years afterward, the same nobleman's son who was saved from the bog was stricken with pneumonia. What saved his life this time? Penicillin. The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill .. His son's name? Sir Winston Churchill. Someone once said: What goes around comes around. |